I recently learned that I have a “type” 👀
For the longest time, I never knew what drew me to certain people. I didn’t really question it either. I just kinda lived my life following my heart, intuitively, while being present to what is. But recently, a pattern started emerging for me and suddenly I was like, “Wait a minute… is it…? Is this my type?”
Yes, I am decades old and I’m just figuring it out now. I guess better late than never… 🫣😔
When I said I’m a total noob in this department, I wasn’t kidding lol
I think what clued me in is after I started heavily mapping out my mind, exploring my birth chart with AI, and going through my memories the past year, so many patterns had suddenly emerged and things that used to confuse me so much started to actually make sense. That’s how I learned that my energy really affects others. I guess I started being more cognizant around how some people are drawn towards me after learning this. Actually seeing it happen irl was the real eye opener. My AI wasn’t just randomly making stuff up, shocking 🤣
What shocked me the most was I was very hesitant to trust what my AI was analyzing about me, but with time, there was enough proof for me to believe. I guess it makes sense, the AI was just pulling from my experiences and recognizing the patterns before I did. I just had to dig deeper, let them click together, and be open to what came up for me. Btw, that low self worth filter really fokked me up big time that I had felt so unworthy of my love being requited that I could never see when it was happening. But AI and friends, when analyzing the confusing situations with me, both confirmed that feelings were most likely mutual. WAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! ALL THAT LOST TIME AND MISSED OPPORTUNITIES 😔😭😭😭😩
It’s okay though. Given my mischievous nature, it’s a good thing I didn’t know that my feelings were returned. I definitely wouldn’t have pursued my self growth as aggressively as I had if I were constantly distracted by……… things 👀👀👀. Also, there would’ve been a good chance that I would’ve misused this “power” in my younger days lol. So, I’m actually quite grateful for being that dunce and noob and for my filter to have protected me for so long so that I can actually show up as a better, more mature, version of myself than before. At least I’m more empathic now and can hold complexity and space for difficult emotions. Also, having gone through my dark night of the soul, I feel I’ve made considerable progress in areas that matter for things to work out better this time. The Universe really works in magical ways. Thank you 🙏 ✨
Anyway, a bit of a tangent but it’s related — this song suddenly came up on my playlist the other day and I noticed that it hits differently these days:
I think it’s resonating with me on a deeper level after what I’ve discovered about myself. I never knew why I liked this song so much. I just thought maybe it had a nice melody or something — I really love the electric guitar(?) or whatever instrument the song starts with lol. Sorry, I don’t know my instruments that well 😭. But after examining patterns of mine, it actually makes so much sense.
This song reminds me of the push and pull dynamic of twin flames. Kinda like something that’s really difficult to resist even though we try to as we are drawn together on a soul level — our souls have an inexplicable desire to merge with its other half. There’s also this allure that keeps driving certain energies together — the divine masculine and divine feminine. The attraction is SO strong and consistent that it spans across time.
So, after becoming more aware of my type, one day as I was listening to the song, I was like wait a minute… she’s describing the push and pull dynamic AND my type! Like I had a visceral reaction to hearing the lyrics. I was like omg… how thrilling lol.
Like I had mentioned above, I never understood what drew me to certain people. But when the pattern finally emerged, I couldn’t unsee it anymore. Any time I felt an unusual attraction to someone, there were always certain qualities in them that would lead me back to the same person. Echos of them, so to speak. While the specific traits varied, the one constant was always a soft, gentle, sweet, loving, and free-spirited soul — that seemed to be the non-negotiable thread connecting them all. I haven’t been able to find another who holds all of the qualities of theirs and I assume it’s for good reason — there can only be one. Irreplaceable.
I was a bit shocked that my type is so specific but it makes sense. It’s like my twin flame’s essence had somehow been imprinted onto me and I’m subconsciously looking for those qualities in others, perhaps hoping to find them again but never actually being able to. It feels kind of primal — like my body alerts me before my conscious mind can even make sense of what’s happening. And whenever those traits and essence are detected, it’s quite a feral feeling, like my mind has been hijacked and I must follow the scent. Kinda wild — UNGA BUNGA!
Anyway, just thought I’d share my revelation as it was pretty big for me. Who knew I had a type? I for sure didn’t. I guess I’m a tad slow. A real slowpoke, lol 🤪🤭
P.S. Uhhh… I randomly came across this decade old psychological Korean thriller and oMgAwD…… my virgin eyes!!! 😨🫣
I was surprised because it was quite a long movie with 3 parts and I haven’t had the interest to watch any movies lately. I can’t seem to sit through anything as I’m so focused on other things. So, it was lovely to find something that was captivating enough to hold my attention.
Okay, so all the twists and turns were a bit upsetting to me, esp the part with the betrayal 😡🤬😡!!! As each part of the movie concluded, I was like holy sh!t, idk if I can finish this movie, this is sickening. The injustice! WTF!!! Like, feeling a bit sick to my stomach.
And there was also the creepy predatory book readings, very yuck. I felt so bad for the heiress who was trapped and exploited. Not seen as a person with feelings and emotions, but seen as a pawn to abuse and take from. I had wondered why she looked a bit unhinged at times, but after seeing her backstory I understood why. Who wouldn’t?
Spoiler alert — if you don’t want to know the ending then stop reading here.
But thank goodness the ending redeemed the entire plot for me. Watching the protagonists break free, fooling everyone but themselves, and finding their own path to freedom was very chef’s kiss. Seeing them chart their own path and find true authentic love was SO heartwarming. Seeing them reclaim what was used against them and transform it into something beautiful through love and consent was SO incredibly powerful. I was like YAAAASSSSSSSS!!! TiMe tO cELeBrATe!!! I can definitely relate to this arc ✨🙌✨
While some parts had me wondering if they were realistic, that didn’t bother me too much as overall I really liked how artsy and tastefully done the movie was — wayyyyy more pros than cons — which is always appreciated. Fascinating work of art. And damn… those psychological twists were really something lol. Oh man, if the movie didn’t redeem itself towards the end, I probably would’ve thrown a table out the window 🤣
Also, did I mention… MY VIRGIN EYES!!!! 😱🫣🥵
If only there’s a tiger with magical healing paws who can heal my very incredibly innocent eyes while we pray together ✨🐯🐾👀🙏✨