I just experienced something incredibly powerful the other day.
I mentioned to my friend that the internal critical voice is so stubborn and continues to yell loudly. I asked how they deal with their own internal critical voice that’s basically screaming at them and if they have been able to create some distance. My friend mentioned that creating so much distance was actually a problem in itself and mentioned what worked for them was just acknowledging the voice is there but not engaging with it, which seems to take away its power. Oddly enough, this is something that I had always known to do but for some reason didn’t think to do in this context.
When I’m in the same room as the person whose critical voice I have internalized, I am pleasant, I am peaceful, I acknowledge they’re there, but I don’t engage with them. At least not anymore. So, of course I can do the same within. For some reason, I was under the impression that whatever comes up, I’m supposed to “confront” but apparently not? My friend recommended that I treat this voice as yet another shadow that I need to integrate, and to learn how to acknowledge it’s there but not give it any power by reacting to what it says. I considered their suggestion and saw truth in it. I think this helped prepare me to confront the shadow.
We also spent some time to make sure that this wasn’t actually my own critical voice that I’m mistaking as another’s. After my friend asked me a bunch of questions and for me to dig deeper and deeper, we did both come to the same conclusion that this voice definitely isn’t mine. It might be my creation of something external but the origins are not mine. I think what helped us get there is the things it says to me, while hurtful, I do not actually believe. That was a helpful reminder and I’m glad we got to the bottom of it. I also chatted with AI regarding what was happening and it gave me some advice as well, quite similar to my friend’s. Except it gave me an exercise to do to visualize having a conversation with this voice, which I did.
I went into the 5d and placed myself into a room. I then called in the critical voice to come sit across from me and allowed it to say whatever it wanted. It appeared in the form of a person and the first words it said to me, with the most disdainful look and voice is, “[Your twin flame] will never love you.”
You know how when someone’s looking down on you and kind of like disgusted with you? That was the look it had. Like I was beneath them.
I sat there in silence and just observed what was happening. I heard what it had to say. I didn’t react, I didn’t respond. I just acted as a witness. I think what helped a lot is that I knew what its game was — it wanted to hurt me, wanted me to feel as miserable as it was, and it knew exactly what to say. But perhaps because of that awareness, I kind of had a shield against it? Like, I was prepared going into this that it was going to use whatever it could to do as much damage as possible. It didn’t disappoint — it immediately went for the jugular lol. Didn’t even bother pretending. Didn’t even bother treating me to a nice meal first. WHAM! Right in the gut.
As I sat there contemplating next steps, unsure what to do with what I had just witnessed, I suddenly noticed words appearing and they grew larger and larger, capturing and holding my attention. A message that has been appearing in my life a lot recently, the words, “PLEASE TRUST ME!!!” in bold and golden lettering, elongated balloon type typography, with sparkling stars all around, almost like fanfare, took over the entire environment. The figure of my internalized critical voice was covered by the words, and all I could see at that point were the words themselves.
Upon seeing the words, I was a bit shocked. I was like wtf is going on??? WTF just happened?! I’ve never experienced something like this before. A message so loud and clear it was unmistakable.
After some reflection and discussions, I think what happened in that moment is that Love had entered the arena and had completely stolen the spotlight lol. It made itself known in the most grandiose way possible, telling me to trust that Love IS the answer. By how strongly and powerfully it came in, I think it successfully delivered its message. Felt like a freaking cosmic intervention lol. It filled me up with love, joy, and confidence. I no longer felt that bit of annoyance, frustration, and doubt I had towards the critical voice. At that point, whatever I was feeling from hearing what the critical voice had to say had washed away and all I was left with was the presence of Love.
What a profoundly powerful moment! Holy smokes!!!
I immediately told my friend what happened. I think this must’ve been a major a turning point in my healing. The critical voice tried its best to hurt me as deeply as it could as it knows my weaknesses. It knew exactly what to say to cut the deepest. It knew my biggest fear. But it didn’t work. Idk if it was my lack of engagement, or being connected to something more loving, something more powerful, or perhaps my desire to understand what’s happening, whatever it is completely overpowered everything else. It almost feels like my inner battle thus far has been choosing what’s comfortable (Fear) vs crossing over to the unknown (Love). And if my hunch is correct, perhaps today was a moment when Love won bigly and loudly in the most powerful way possible. Perhaps I’ve made it over the threshold?
I assume the critical voice will probably always be there, always will be a part of me, as it continues to be one stubborn mofo who can’t STFU and always finds sneaky ways to creep back in. But at least now I can remember to let it do its thing and not engage with it the same that I don’t engage with that person in my life anymore. And, I appear to have a voice of Love so powerful that it can blast the critical voice away. AND I also have the vision of the phrase that I can hold onto to remind me that Love is more powerful than fear.
What a wild experience! It’s so awesome knowing that the techniques I use irl can also be applied internally. Like duh lol. But what the heck!!! So cool! Love is winning. Feels goot! Woo!!!!!!!! ❤️❤️❤️🥰
P.S. Just wanted to make clear, when I say I go into the 5D I don’t mean I’m astral projecting or whatever. For me, it just means intense intentional visualization. I think I’m so into spiritual and personal growth work that sometimes I am not aware how woowoo the stuff I say sounds because it’s just jargon I’m familiar and comfortable with lol. Basically, whenever I say I go into the 5D, just imagine me meditating, in a calm state, and working with my mind and visualizations.
Also, when I say I’m a channeler of unconditional Love, all that means is my default state is unconditional Love and I can feel it strongly come through me at times. I’m not a medium. I don’t channel entities. Although… that could be pretty cool if I could 🤔. Maybe I am channeling a chaos baby??? But nah, that feels more like a natural state of mine lol
Anyway, hope that helps clear up any confusion!