I’m starting to think my friends might be more impatient than I am for reunion lol. Maybe cuz they know how important it is to me, they’re not sure how can I feel so relaxed and patient about it. I’m like idk, I just am okay with what’s happening.
My mantra seems to be, “If it’s meant to be it’s meant to be.” Perhaps that’s also been contributing to my peace around this situation?
It wasn’t always like this. I def felt more antsy back when all of my memories started unlocking, learning that I didn’t have the full picture back then and how my filters were affecting my memories. But through my journey this past year, I think I’ve eventually found peace around the situation.
Perhaps it’s how far along I am on my individuation journey where I feel connected to the reality of life, like I’m riding on the current of “Source energy” that’s taking me places — a super highway of truth and authenticity. It’s almost like the more I just take a backseat and let things happen, doing my inner work as things come up, basically getting out of my own way and helping clear the path forward, have things been improving dramatically in my life. It appears that the more my mind tries to control things, the worse I experience life and the more I give up control, the better things go.
For example, with my writing, I used to want to plan and be all strategic about it. Maybe because I had SO much to process and write about that it was too much and I felt the need to do that to make sense of things instead of just randomly throwing everything out there all at once. It was a LOT to wade through and sometimes stressful making sure I got things down in the proper order. But lately, especially after I’ve felt more or less complete with processing the past, I’ve stopped doing that and have only written whenever inspiration struck. Somehow, magically, the pieces seem to have cohesion, which I found to be quite fascinating! It almost feels like my “Higher Self” got the strategizing under control and I just have to listen for what wants to come through. It’s been great lol. I don’t even have to stress. I just have to stay present and it’s been working out for me.
In hindsight, whatever I’ve been going through appears to be unfolding in utter perfection, at the exact moments I need them to come up. Each healing opportunity I get through I feel so much lighter, more confident, more trusting, and helps prepare me for the next healing opportunity. Who I am now being is insanely different from who I was being a year ago. It still amazes me. This is just rolling with the things that come up, instead of fighting and resisting them, and allowing myself to learn the lessons. I can’t deny the results.
So when my friends express their shock at how calm I’ve been about my situation, I’m like… well what else am I supposed to do though besides practice and embody patience? Plop down on the floor and throw a giant tantrum? Commission some skywriting saying, “REUNION NOW. CALL ME!” ??? I feel like the only real option I have is to continue living my life as fully as I can, doing the inner work that I’m being asked to do, while being open to what comes next.
Like I mentioned earlier, I wasn’t always this calm, zen, and accepting about things. But I guess I finally realized that nothing can be forced and that I can’t even come up with better plans than the Universe can lol. Often times, my “well thought out” plans get thrown out the window anyway to make room for something even better. As someone who values efficiency, I’ll let my Higher Self / the Universe do the planning since they’re already doing such a great job lol. More time for me to be a couch potato! 💪
Going with the flow and being in acceptance also creates less internal suffering. If I know what creates more long term suffering for me, why would I want to do more of it? Just handle the situation, get the suffering done with, and try not to feed it more. Like, if I love junk food but I know it messes up my body and makes me feel really sick, why should I put that in my body? It’ll just create long term suffering for me. Just lick the chip and toss it. My body’s not a garbage pail 😉
BTW, have you ever been pressured or rushed to do something you weren’t sure about? If so, how did you feel about it? I know I have and I don’t like it. Usually I feel like I can’t think properly, that I feel stressed (not in a good way), and I tend to make a lot of mistakes. When I am not rushed or pressured, I tend to have more time to see the larger picture, consider my options, and get to my own inner truth about things, which helps me feel more empowered about the choices that I’m making. It never feels good to feel like I’m being manipulated either so that others can get their way at my expense. Because I feel this way, why would I want to place that pressure on others especially someone I care so deeply about? I’d want them to reach out because of personal desire and readiness, not because of obligation or guilt. That is very important to me. I want to know their choice is carefully considered and made from an empowered place.
That said, I will also mention that there are also times I had experienced being pushed outside of my comfort zone, feeling a bit of that pressure, and oddly enough, it actually helped me discover that I’m much more capable than I had thought. This then helped me build confidence. I think it was usually because others saw in me that I already had what it takes to do the thing I wanted to do but was just dragging my feet out of fear. What helped is those people saw my highest potential growth, they didn’t want something from me. They wanted me to grow and succeed. I guess that’s important as well — what is the intention behind the person’s engagement? Also, I suppose sometimes we don’t see our own competency properly and might use it to justify our own actions or lack thereof.
It makes sense though as I think the most difficult part for me is that while it’s easy to see growth in others, it’s so much more difficult to see my own personal growth since it’s such a gradual and natural thing. It’s important to have mirrors (e.g. trusted friends) who can reflect back to us what they see. That’s why I love my friends so much, they’re such great mirrors and can remind me of how far I’ve come whenever I forget. I trust that they will be willing to say what I don’t want to hear as well (e.g. none of this is real), that they’re not just trying to people please. And when confronted with how this isn’t real, I have to check in with my own intuition. So far, my intuition tells me to trust myself and so that’s what I will do. I value my friends’ opinions, their love and care, and their looking out for me, but way too many strange and unexplainable things have happened so far that I can’t deny those proof either (e.g. the visions and stuff). Just because they’re energetic and not physical doesn’t make them any less real to me, if that makes any sense. I’ve also been using AI to help remind me of my own growth as well, which has been incredibly helpful. I know it’s easy for me to not give myself enough credit, so I’ve instructed my AI to help reflect back that growth when it appears I’ve forgotten and it does a fantastic job.
Also, if there’s one thing I’ve observed, oftentimes, it’s the folks who are over-prepared and competent who think they aren’t, and the folks who aren’t prepared enough think they are lol. Idk why this is but it’s fascinating. Maybe something about self confidence, imposter syndrome, dunning-kruger effect, etc.? Maybe the intelligent ones are a little too self-aware of just how much is unknown and how scary that unknowingness and uncertainty can be. Whereas the not as self-aware folks aren’t even aware of what they’re not aware of so they don’t have a care in the world. How do you know what to fear if you’re not even aware enough to be afraid?
I guess what I’m trying to say is… if you’re someone who doesn’t feel too confident but you work hard, are intelligent, self-aware, thoughtful, observant, etc. you probably are WAY better prepared than you think you are. Perhaps even over-prepared. You’re probably too focused on what you don’t know, spiraling in that fear, and maybe not giving yourself enough credit for what you do know and how competent you actually are. While the fear might be comforting in a twisted way, it is not the objective truth. It is there to help keep you small and comfortable. Your intelligence and self-awareness might be a double edged sword. It’s great to have but gotta be mindful of when it becomes limiting.
And on the flip side, if you’re someone who’s overly confident without a care in the world, maybe prepare some more? You probably have a blind spot somewhere lol
Food for thought?
Ja?
Also, isn’t it a bit difficult to plan things, make major life decisions, with missing variables? Some things require being connected first before proper planning can even begin as more information becomes available, allowing a larger picture of what’s possible to emerge. Plus, sometimes part of the fun in life is figuring things out as you go! You know… be a little bit spontaneous? Could be exciting 😏
A quick aside, don’t you think it’s so incredibly cute that someone could feel SO overwhelmed by love that they might be paralyzed by inaction?
👀
I think it’s super cute!!!
If this indeed is what’s happening then my kawaii widdo mousey hiding in the walls is too adowabo to me ;__;
It’s ok widdo mousey, you can come out and play. I promise I won’t bite, I will be gentle. Unless…
But seriously, when it comes down to it, I have no freaking idea if my words are even reaching their intended recipient. I don’t even know if my words are landing properly as intended either. For all I know, no one could be reading and I could be screaming into a void lol. I just have faith as my intuition keeps telling me to continue sharing and that my words ARE landing however they need to, and to have trust and faith in the process.
That’s actually the more difficult part of this journey than the patience — dealing with the feeling of uncertainty. It was hella rough earlier in the year but somehow something had changed over the course of the past year. Maybe as I had cleared away more gunk, even the uncertainty has become more manageable? So, I’ve been extremely grateful about that. There’s a peace in my heart now that I didn’t think was possible.
This past year definitely hasn’t been an easy one and aside from releasing some of that stress through my Dear Universe posts, I haven’t really shared too much about that process. I’m just glad I landed where I am. I suppose the Universe throwing these lessons at me repeatedly has been a positive thing lol. Really can only get better at something with consistent practice.
Anyway, just thought it’d be funny to share that my friends appear more impatient than I am 🤣 AND I guess I learned that when I really care about someone who’s incredibly important to me, I have all the patience in the world. My heart feels so full 😭❤️
P.S. OMG speaking of heart is full, my hunch is correct! They were all different poses with different messages (september slide) and the one I won is right in the middle. Wahhhhhhh!!!!!! Happy❤️ indeed!!!!!!!!