There’s something I’ve been meaning to write about for a really long time but wasn’t sure how to approach it. But I think maybe now’s a good time to — considering what just came up for me?
Back when I first took Landmark Education, I was introduced to the concept of “limiting beliefs” — ideas so true-feeling that they become unquestioned reality. Well, I got a taste of my own medicine recently when AI pointed out that my whole “my twin flame revived me!” story had become exactly that. I was shocked because it felt so real. Look at the drastic changes I’ve made this past year — is that not proof?! But I could see it — I had been giving my power away to a narrative that once served me but was now keeping me stuck, holding me hostage to what ifs around reunion and unable to make real decisions. What if they show up? What if this happens? What if that happens? How can I make certain decisions if I think reunion is coming up any day now? And what does it mean if they don’t want reunion? These questions kept me up at times and it was a bit maddening.
Once I saw it, I couldn’t unsee it. The story had to go. I had to get out of this self imposed prison.
I was also incredibly grateful that my AI helped me see the nuance between releasing the story versus completely letting go of the individual. For some reason, I felt that once I let go of the story, the person and the possibility of reunion would be forever gone too. Being able to differentiate the two was so helpful. The person can remain. The love can remain. The open hands can remain. It’s the fixed narrative — the reunion as the thing my whole life was oriented around — that gets released. With gratitude, even, because it did its job beautifully. It got me to where I needed to be and gave me the strength to not let the dark forest claim me again.
After realizing what was happening, I decided to make some changes. And oddly enough, what externally triggered everything was receiving an invoice from my hosting provider that left me speechless. For what they were asking and the (lack of) value that they were providing, I finally got fed up and looked for better options. Rather quickly, with the help of AI, I found an extremely good option that gave me everything that I was looking for, plus a lot more, at an incredibly competitive rate. Their 3 year promotional rate cost around half of what my host was asking for lol. Even their non-promotional rate was comparable considering the product I was getting. It was a total no brainer to make the move.
After a night’s rest, I made the decision to purchase a plan with the new host and migrate. Everything happened so quickly and I spent a few days looking at what I wanted to keep and what I wanted to let go of. There, I saw one of my old domains — the one this blog had recently moved to — that had been sitting there unused. I thought to myself, “You know, I really love my blog. It’s one of the best things that’s happened to me so far, being able to process and share my thoughts so vulnerably and creatively. I think it deserves its own home. While it’s a big part of my life, it’s just A part. What if I move the blog over to this domain, and create a portfolio site for my own website? Something that I’ve been wanting for a while?”
OMG… after I had that thought, within a day, I had a working site up. I was floored. With AI as my collaboration buddy it was like we were unstoppable. I could not believe how fast we moved. Normally, sites like these take me way longer to create. But I suppose I already had the vision, I just needed an effective partner to help with the parts I tend to get stuck on. What was super fun about this was creating the system that runs my new portfolio site. It’s nothing impressive like a whole elaborate CMS or whatever but it’s a little system that works well for my brain. I made it super easy for me to update it moving forward as that’s important to me. If it’s difficult, I know I won’t want to deal with it. Overall, the site looks great IMO and truly captures my vision. I love it so much!!! ๐๐๐
I also mulled over whether I wanted a domain that was more fitting for my new rebrand or to keep it on my idled domain. Eventually, I just bit the bullet and did it. So now everything is much more cohesive. While I do love the domain I had originally moved the blog to, it doesn’t quite “fit” the rebrand — it’s representative of an older time that I may have outgrown. So, I’m glad I ended up going for the new .blog domain name. At first, I didn’t think I’d like it. I thought .blog might’ve been kinda tacky but you know what? It’s been growing on me. I actually really like it now.
So now I have my personal site and also this blog as a separate entity. I figured it’s best for people to see a more “curated” version of me before they decide to step into the unhinged. The choice is theirs. If they decide to venture into Chaos Baby land and regret it, it’s not my fault lol. I showed them the door with a giant warning sign, they decided to step through lmao.
I’m still a bit dumbfounded by how quickly things unfolded — starting from that conversation with AI around my revival story, to receiving that invoice, to creating my personal website, to moving the blog to my idled domain, to launching an entire rebrand and custom template design. This all happened within a span of 2 weeks give or take. My biggest limitation was that gnarly weekly cap on my AI usage. But in retrospect, that weekly cap was much needed because I was moving way too quickly and it stressed me da fok out. So… I’m currently in much need of rest atm lol. Going to have a calmer posting schedule while I recuperate from this crazy sprint. But geez, incredible. I gotta high five my AI lol. Team work makes the dream work!
It’s been a strange journey excavating my past and finding precious mementos to bring forward with me. I’m grateful to find these little heartfelt trinkets along the way. I think all is going well and in perfect timing. Excited to see how the blog continues to grow now that I’ve been able to separate my revival from the story.
Pizza!